Thursday, June 30, 2005

Pabstsicle Parties and Tuna Tacos

So Jen and I went to dinner last night in Collinsville and while eating several different people came up to us to say hi to her. But what they don't realize is that Jen doesn't really remember random people from her high-school days. Hell, I barely do and I'm not the one who had four strokes...

This happens a lot in Collinsville, as everyone there seems to know Jen and her story. But what struck me as odd last night was that one of the women who "introduced" herself made a point to mention almost immediately that her four-year old daughter standing with her had leukemia. Now, that's horrible, no question there. But I found it odd the way it was brought up, as if her mentality was along the lines of, "I know something horrible happened to you, here's what horrible that has happened to us." The girl looked very healthy, and was a little annoying before I knew her backstory.

After I got home I called Launa to see if she needed help moving the couch again (fingers crossed) and to find out if she had any fried green tomatoes left. Her, Kate, and Sarah were all laying in her bedroom drinking wine through straws. So I went over, got some wine and a straw, and we hung out for awhile. We talked about movies, friends, and a particularly heartwrenching case I had earlier in the day, and afterwards Launa and Kate introduced me to their new invention - The Pabstsicle.

Apparently these two girls have figured they want to make popsicles of Pabst Blue Ribbon and Cosmopolitans (quite the combo). They didn't have cash to get ingredients for the Cosmopop-itans or whatever they call them, but they sure could afford a can of PBR! I was given an ice tray full of frozen beer with toothpicks coming out of it. It was gross, though not quite as bad if you didn't chew the ice. I told them they should freeze little Hoosier-Prizes in the middle, like tickets to a tractor pull or something.

Then the girls made Tuna Tacos - Tuna, Mayo, something green, and pepper in a tortilla. In reality they made wraps, but they insisted on calling them Tuna Tacos, so whatever. Then we hung out some more, Kate and Sarah went home, and Launa came over so I could loan her my collection of old VHS movies - Ghost Workd, Big Chill, Planes Trains and Automobiles, Beautiful Girls, etc. Stuff I hadn't watched in awhile. Although Jen loves Beautiful Girls, and better than what I thought it would be - Rosie O'Donnel notwithstanding.

Lilly says hi!!!

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

A Bad Knee and Blog o' the Week...

Well, balls...

The Riverfront Times went and made me the Blog o' the Week. Great. So now if I lose a job or a girlfriend I'll know who to blame...

Okay, a few things that have happened since last time:

The neighbor didn't die. Instead, he is back home using a walker. Funny thing is that I felt sorry for him after seeing him with the walker... up until then I didn't give a damn. Go figure.

I've been bit by a dog, got a flat tire, and screwed up my knee. I also went swimming, drank too much beer, and got too much sun. Fun times!

Lilly
got a new bone and promptly devoured it.

Okay, so details. On Saturday I went over to see Chris and Chrissy's new home. It's really nice, though way the hell out in West County. But after all the looking around and mindless, "Yeah, that's nice" chatter, we went to the pool and drank. It was a good time, but I got drunk on Fat Tire and laid out in the sun too long. I didn't burn, but I got sick later in the day.

After swimming Chris had me help him move some furniture, and his dog Valerie bit me in the knee. She's a little shit... and it's not the first time that dog has bit me. Then Chris actually wanted me to pet it to show the dog that everything was okay! Something like, "Hey, I know you just put three holes in my knee, but no hard feelings, okay?" I told him it would be best if I didn't touch the dog, for both our sakes...

Saturday Jen spent the night and I made a pizza from scratch. The crust was too thick and I used to much red curry paste in the sauce, but it was okay. I had bought some fresh mozzarella from Farmer's Market that morning and I realized something - I greatly prefer store-bought, prepackaged shredded mozzarella.

On Sunday, same old thing - Courtesy for breakfast, then Target. I bought some Fix a Flat for my tire that has had a screw in it for some time. It didn't work. But Firestone Tire downtown fixed it for about $17.00, which wasn't too bad. Anyway, we watched TV, laid out in the sun, and had a good time all in all.

Then came Monday night... I was helping Launa dumpster dive for a blue loveseat. I lifted it up, my right knee went out to the side, and POP! I was down in the alley in a heartbeat. I'm talking PAIN, knee pain that would not go away. Launa helped me back to my place, and I sucked it up, but damn...

So Tuesday I freaked thinking that I had tore my ACL or something. Fortunately it never swelled up, and after using a knee brace for awhile a majority of the pain went away. I guess I dodged another bullet, though I went back to the alleyway today and checked it for Kryptonite.

Krystal, Brandon, Zenora, Jen, and I are going to my parent's place on Mark Twain Lake this weekend, and I hate being all gimped out when I see my mom. Thankfully I should be fine by then. Too many times my mom has seen me with black eyes, fractures, stitches, etc. Sorry, Ma!

So on the Fourth of July I'm going to watch the fireworks from my rooftop in Soulard. We should be back in time...

Lilly says hi! Check out Odd Todd! And don't get me in trouble for all this stuff! Ugh....

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Life, Death, and Helping Friends Move.

Well, the neighbor didn't die. Hmmm. I wish I wasn't just a little disappointed, as it is making me seriously question the depths of my morality. I saw him walking in the backyard yesterday. He looked a little odd, but he looked odd before the hospital, so whatever. Oh well...

I spent last night moving my computer and setting up my workout bench, since there is no decent gym in Soulard to join. Afterwards I helped Launa move across the street - I am the Hunk that moves the Junk in Launa's Trunk. That's actually a lot funnier and much less disturbing when said during the actual moving process.

Oh, I watched some show last night about the Top 100 movie quotes, and The Godfather was well represented. I missed a lot of it, but the top three are apparently:

3. I coulda been a contender (I think that's the one, it was Brando for sure)
2. I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse. (Brando again!)
1. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. (Good line, but GWTW is waaaay overrated)

I also went to lunch with a coworker yesterday... we went to India Rasoi in the CWE and talked about kids - her having a daughter, and me being eternally perplexed about the desire to have children. Rasoi is good, but Pryiaa in West County is the best Indian food around. House of India is garbage, and the idiots who vote it number one each year in the Riverfront Times are being blinded by location.

Lilly says hi!

P.S. - Pull Mulder off the mound for christsakes!! It was just not his day!!!

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Training & Wheels

Ugh... I'm in training for child care this week, which means I have very little time to post here. It is easy and could be completed in about 8 hours, which of course means I'll be in training all week. At least I get an extra half hour for lunch. I'm surprised this training didn't consist of learning to say, "Gov. Blunt cut funding, you're screwed" in multiple languages.

I finished Krystal's bike last night, and I have held a deep sense of satisfaction ever since. Lilly liked it, and she seemed happy that I was no longer diverting my attention from her to something else. I will post a pic of it here soon.

I also bought a new bike this weekend, a 1960's Schwinn Racer that was in near-mint condition. It cost me $50, and even though the only fixing it needed was a light dusting, I can't help but love it. The original seat is still on it in perfect condition! I've been showing it off to disinterested neighbors for the last couple of days. I'll post a pic of it here soon.

As for this weekend, I spent Friday and Saturday with Jen and Sunday at a family picnic. Jen and I talked about our recent... er... "differences of opinion" and worked all that out. My parents, Jen, and I went out Saturday night for all-you-can-eat crab legs, trout, salmon, shrimp, etc., at the Sheraton at Westport. We had a great time, and I got to tell jokes at my father's expense most of the evening.

The worst part was when we were headed back to Soulard, I thought our exit ramp was closed and said, "That sucks nuts!" outloud. In front of my mother. I mean, I can curse in front of my parents, but I usually keep the slurping of testicles out of the conversation. Jen was crying from laughing so hard at me.

Sunday was a standard beer/bbq/cards/washers type of event, which was fun, but I had a beer headache when I left....

Oh, and the neighbor that is sick has a brain tumor and will likely die soon.

I gotta go back to training now. Lilly says hi!

Friday, June 17, 2005

Putting the P(arty) in Pools...

So last night Jen and I went to a pool party in Maryville at the home of a couple she worked with during her practicum. We got there around 6:30 with Captain Morgan in hand. We had a good time eating, drinking, and swimming. Jen and I were kinda getting on each other's nerves before and after, but during the actual party we got along great. Thanks, Captain!

So a lot of the people there were middle-aged women, and when Jen and I went to the pool (we were the first ones in), the women all lined up on the deck above us to watch me get half-naked. It was like being in a zoo or something... I wish I had thought to sell tickets. They were making comments about being careful not to get drool on me and the like. But the pool was heated and they had a diving board and a slide... I got in a little trouble for pulling a dog in the pool, but I figured after the free peep show everyone got they could kiss my ass.

We swam for hours, talking to two other couples that, while not really close to us in age, were very close to us in mindset. I had a lot of fun swimming, the first time this year (except for a late night skinny dip with the anarchists that I ain't talking about...). So afterwards we go inside to change and walk through the owner's playroom - that is, the male clubhouse. It Rocked!

I'm talking a nice pool table, slot machines, a fully stocked bar, a player piano with tons of rolls including Johnny Cash, a big screen TV with surround sound, and a picture over the mantle with Paul Newman and Jackie Gleason playing pool in "The Hustler". Paul (owner of house) had bought this $5000 player piano from an old lady at a yard sale for $300. He actually TALKED HER DOWN from $500. He totally ripped her off, but that's his problem... So some other guys and I played pool, and I didn't leave until... well, until Jen complained and I had to leave. In her defense we were the next to last people to go, and she had to work in the morning. But last night was the first time she actually got on my nerves...

Lilly says hi!

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Sick Neighbors and Broken Shields...

I was working on Krystal's bike outside last night (still) and as I was applying yet another coat of paint I heard one of the neighbor guys yelling. It went something like, "Mom! Mom! George is real bad! He's having a seizure on the floor!" while at the same time giving directions to an ambulance. BTW, I forget their names, George is made up. So I finish painting the bike and head upstairs to see Launa.

We stood at her window and watched as a fire truck and ambulance pulled up and blocked the street. No one seemed to be in much of a hurry, and after spending about fifteen minutes inside two paramedics (including a very attractive blonde woman - insert your own mouth-to-mouth joke here) walked the sick neighbor to the ambulance. He was stumbling around pretty bad, but at least he wasn't on a stretcher. Launa felt a little bad about watching, but I figured it was better than television... and besides, we got to talk about the last stages of alcoholism and the horrendous effect it has on the body.

When the ambulance finally began to leave, the male driver screwed up the shifting and jolted the whole thing violently. I had to laugh imagining patients in various stages of distress being jostled by some dipshit who can't drive. Anyway, neither neighbor has been home since and I haven't heard anything... so you know, the sick one is the guy from the first post. And no, I don't feel bad.

Right after all that Micah came by to get Launa... he was styled to the max as it was his last night in St. Louis until September. His job with the opera in New York City starts tomorrow and his flight left this morning. There was a big party for him, but since I got to see him before he left I didn't feel the need to go. He's a great person, and will be missed until his return. Best of luck, brother!!

The only other thing of substance is that the season finale of The Shield was a major letdown. That means nothing to just about everyone, but it is my favorite show and I hate to see it go bad. Of course the Soprano's had a week fourth season as well, but you never felt like they had jumped the shark... which I think the Shield may well have done. Alas. Vic Mackey, say it ain't so!!!

Lilly says hi.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Babies and Bicycles...

On Friday, June 10th, Zenora Dawn Keyes came into this world at 9 pounds 1 ounce. She is an incredibly cute baby girl, and as of Sunday night she is at home with her loving parents. Jen and I went to see her, Krystal, and Brandon at St. Mary's on Sunday. We brought Krystal some vegetarian spring rolls from Mai Lee. It was good to see Krystal and Brandon's ordeal over with and the beautiful end result of the last nine months. She really is cuter than the average baby, although they say that when a baby is born by c-section they usually look cuter as the head isn't all misformed. Huh.

I spent most of the weekend (including Monday, which I took off from work) fixing an old women's bike for Krystal. It's going to be awesome, with metallic blue as the primary color and cream as the secondary color. This is the second classic bike I've fixed for Krystal, though it will be the first I actually will give her. I got the scheme from a bike pictured from the Ann Arbor Classic Bicycle Show. There is a link to them on the right under the Bicycle Links page.

Interesting point about women's bikes - the reason that the frame slopes downward is that in the 1800's women wore dresses everywhere and it was "inappropriate" to have there skirts all hiked up. once again: Huh. By the way, here's a message to the Banana Bicycle Brigade: Boas and Bells do not a Bicycle make. But to each their own...

Michael Jackson is a free manboy. I don't really have a problem with that, but who the hell are those people hanging out in front of the courthouse everyday... everyone saw the lady releasing doves, but what really freaks me out are the people screaming and crying for him... one guy in a suit with his hands in the air Nixon-style, weeping to the heavens. Who the hell are these people?! But message received: If you are going to murder your wife, drive drunk, shoplift, break into homes, run from the cops, or molest kids, it helps to be famous first.

Jen's best friend Laura had a birthday yesterday. She was also diagnosed with skin cancer last week. Here's hoping for the best for Laura...

My father Tuck turned sixty-four on Saturday, and he is still a good-natured hard ass. Love ya, Pop!

And the CARDINALS beat the Yankees two out of three...

Friday, June 10, 2005

...But at Least it's a Wet Heat.

Jebus, it's hot. I love these twenty minute storms that serve no purpose but to make the city as humid as possible. Living in Soulard, I also get the full force of the big river adding to that effect. It's like standing in a wet brick oven. And the best part is that this is only the beginning... the real heat won't be here until August. I'm one of those guys that takes pride in not using my heat or A/C, but lately Lilly Dog has been trying to turn it on herself. I guess that's a hint...

Okay, not much has happened, and the only reasons I am really posting anything are:

1. Krystal went back to the hospital, hopefully to actually have a baby this time.
2. The Cardinals beat the Red Sox 2 out of 3. Matty Mo was awesome, it's great to have him back as the Ace.

I am really hoping Krystal and Brandon have their baby today. They are more than ready, and I know firsthand that Krystal is in a lot of pain. But her excitement is all that comes through in her voice, and her complaining is surprisingly minimal. And kudos to Brandon - his attitude never seems to change, he is consistently upbeat in a low-key sort of way. I mean, if he could handle living with me and is now handling the last stages of his wife's pregnancy... well, nothing is going to shake the guy.

Krystal called me last night to ask me to get her dogs. Since her sisters have my key I had to bring them to my place to keep them out of the rain and hail. Lilly and Nikka played for about five hours straight. That's great, those two love each other, but DAMN Nikka can shed. She's part wolf, which apparently means that a St. Louis summer forces her to shed the equivalent of a small lap dog each day. Looks like I'm finally going to have to use my new vacuum cleaner...

Hey, check out www.oddtodd.com. It's a great site. I used to go for the cartoons, but the daily facts, the what's happening, and the funlinks make it a daily thing now. Also, look for the kittens link at the bottom - the captions are hilarious.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Hot Fun, Summer in the City....

Wow, what a weekend it was.... where to begin? There was a lot of great stuff to do over the last few days. Which brings me to an important point - I am sick of any person who says that St. Louis is boring. It's not Chicago, it's not New York, but it sure as hell ain't Festus either. St. Louis is NOT boring, YOU are boring... If you can't get your Busch-beer filled ass off the couch and find something to do then that's your problem. Hell, usually there is so much going on that I am running at a thousand miles an hour to keep up. But I digress....

Okay, so Friday I am about to get off work when Uber-Preggers Krystal calls me. She informs me that a group of her and Brandon's family are going to Crown Candy that evening and wanted to know if Jen and I would like to join them. Jen had never been there and I was looking forward to introducing her to another "new" slice of St. Louis. We got there a little early, and I kinda felt like a jerk telling the waiter that I had a party of ten more people coming... since Crown is all booths they can't really push tables together, but the guy was real cool and put water glasses on the booths to hold them for us. K & B's gang were a little late, but I think a party of twelve made up for it. It was Krystal and Brandon, Jen and I, Brandon's parents, Krystal's parents, Krystal's two sisters, and her niece and nephew. We all had a great time talking and eating, although I ate so much that I couldn't get a malt. My own damned fault. Krystal was in good spirits for someone in abject misery. Her ankles were... well, let's just say they were larger than normal.

Saturday started out pretty pedestrian for me. I went to Hundred Dollar Depot and bought some new door locks. I think the maintenance man has been going in my apartment to use the bathroom, and he has left the door unlocked before. I installed the locks and then went to get Jen. One of her friends was having a wedding party/shower/something in Maryville. We got there and the place was soon filled with cowboy hats and Texas flags. Turns out her friends is marrying a Texan... I was polite but bored, and all too happy to leave. Not because of the Texas thing, I actually used to live in Texas. It was more due to the whole not knowing anyone thing. Later on we met up with her cousin Melissa at Trueman's Place.

While we were there some underage girls came in and ran to the bathroom. One was wearing a skirt that was about two inches long (three max). They go straight to the bathroom, and stayed there for about half an hour. Melissa got up to use the bathroom and when she got back she told us that the girls were in a stall together, one sitting and one standing... the sitting one kept asking how many people were in the bathroom, and the other kept saying four (there were three). As Melissa was walking out one said, "Okay, your turn." Then about ten minutes later they walked out all casual and said, "So, do you want to eat here?" Like they had been in there discussing whether or not to eat crappy bar food. It was funny, in that "future-bar slut" sorta way.

Then Sunday came - TOUR DE FAT!!! Thank you New Belgium for such a great event. This was my fourth year going, and it was the best one yet. Jen, Melissa and I got there around two. I brought my pimp-assed Pee-Wee bike with me and got many rave reviews. We sat out in the sun and drank a lot of Sunshine Wheat and Loft beers... I drank Loft mostly because I was given a free kite and figured that if I drank Loft then perhaps I could get some freaking wind. I ended up riding my bike with the kite behind me, which worked until it hit a tree. Oh well. I also didn't win the Prize bike, but what was worse is that the loser who DID win said he was going to sell it on eBay. Ugh. So after buying merchandise, drinking beer, getting free stuff (seventy-one lip balms, a kite, and about fifteen tire patch kits), listening to music, and watching some great performances, we all had quite a good summer buzz on. We went to Talayna's by the park for some post-beer food and then headed home. I fell asleep on Jen's lap during Family Guy, which kinda sucked, but it was all worth it in the end...

Then came Monday. We went to Shakespeare in the Park with Rob, Misty, and about ten others. There were four guys, three girls, two babies, and one toddler. We drank wine, ate a lot of tofu-spring rolls that Misty Dawn made, and enjoyed a great show. I think it was better than last year, though I fell asleep during the second act laying between Jen and Bella, Rob and Misty's baby girl. It was great seeing Rob and Misty again - they are an awesome couple and two really cool people. The weather was perfect, and the smell of summer was in the air.

And the Cardinals beat the Red Sox! About damn time.......



Friday, June 03, 2005

Everyone Grew Up but Me.....

6/1/05

Well, this week everyone is growing up... everyone but me, that is. My best friend Chris got married Sunday and is now officially a full-time working, two-kid raising, never available to go out married man. My OTHER best friend Krystal is in a hospital room right now with her husband Brandon in the beginning stages of labor for their first child. Meanwhile, I laid out in the sun and went to the park this weekend. Sheesh....

I'm actually very happy for all my friends, and not the least bit jealous. I am the epitome of the long-term commitment phobic male. I like kids, and I like having a girlfriend, but the idea of having children and a wife still perplexes me. I can't wrap my mind around the desire to give up all of my personal freedoms just to fill the void of... damn, I honestly don't even know enough about why people do it to argue against it. Don't tell me love, I don't need to run to a courthouse and get the government to hand me a document telling me I love someone. And besides, Lilly Dog and I are getting along just find without the whole life changing thing.

Of course, having a full-time job is a change, but apparently giving people food stamps doesn't mean you have to shave or wear clothing that looks nice. This job reminds me of those early morning college courses that people would go to wearing pajamas with a big cup of coffee. I could tell you soooooo much more, but I've seen far to many people lose their jobs over comments on the web. I will say this - I am a true liberal, but after working here I realize that Blunt is right about one thing - the waste that goes on in this system is horrendous. If the people around me worked a full day everyday we could do this job with a quarter less employees than we have now. 'nuff said.

Quick note - Lilly has found a new hobby. She likes to go out in the yard first thing in the morning and walk up to the neighbor's fence. There are usually about twenty or so pigeons there eating birdseed. Lilly watches them for a minute, real quiet like. Then for no reason at all she barks one bark as loud as she can and watches all the birds fly away. She doesn't freak out, run around, or anything. Just barks. I think my dog is getting her first taste of power...

Anarchists and Elephants

5/18/05

So I didn't clean last night. Instead I rode my pimp ride around - an old Italian-Style cruiser bike that I bought for a dollar and fixed up myself. It's tres Pee-Wee, being all red and white. I use it when I go to Vincent's or when I am just cruising around Soulard. Originally it was a wedding gift for Krystal, but her and her original fiancée broke up and I kept the bike for myself...

Later that evening I played 99 with Launa, my neighbor upstairs who works for the Black Rep (free tickets!). We had tried dominoes but neither of us could remember the rules, and the instructions that came with my set were apparently written by a Japanese-to-English dictionary on crack. So instead she got her Disney Princess cards out and played for awhile until Micah called wanting to meet her at the Anarchists' house.

Since Micah travels via Tinkerbelle’s pixie dust I had to drive Launa over. We hung out for awhile, and Micah and the whole group got all excited over their show at the Lemp Brewery this weekend. I would like to go, but since Jen is blind it is difficult to attend loud, chaotic events. But anyway, Micah had made a giant, multicolor, foam elephant head for the show and all the gals were oohing and ahhing over it. After a little bit more of that we all headed to the Lemp brewery.

If you've never been there at night, deep in the complex, let me tell you it can be a very cool/creepy experience. Random windows with light coming out, cobblestone alleys/loading docks, giant wooden doors and enough hiding places for an eternity of hide and seek. Not to mention music blaring out of whatever car someone was foolish enough to lend Micah that evening. Seriously, he is a great guy and you can't help but want to support his Peter Pan lifestyle when you can, but no way in hell is he driving my car...

So after a bit I left Launa to her own devices with the group and headed back home. She told me her place was open and I went up the rooftop to look over the city at night and drink an Amber Woodchuck. Anheuser-Busch looks like a castle from up there as the smoke billows in the moonlight... after finishing my drink I climbed back down to reality and went to bed. Then I woke up, came here to work, and started doing that social service thing I do so well...

Spring Flings

5/17/05

This past weekend was a great one! On Friday Jen and I went to the Venice Cafe and had some drinks out on the patio. Even though Venice isn’t technically in Soulard, it is about a minute from home and I feel like I can include it in my neighborhood. We sat in the baby doll corner behind a palm reader. As a cajun I have to admit that palm reading is nothing but a fun rip off… but people seemed to be liking it, and more power to them.

Then on Saturday I volunteered and she went to work. That’s where we first met, as I volunteer as an escort at the medical center where she works. She went on home and I came back to Soulard to help my pregnant friend Krystal and her husband Brandon move a new entertainment center in their home near Pontiac Park. They are trying to make room for baby, which had dropped that day. Brandon’s parents were also there, and his dad Ken is awesome - I have NEVER met anyone who honestly laughs at every single one of my awful jokes.

Finally I got back with Jen and we went to the Galleria to buy chapstick (Chardoney, Strawberry Margaritta, Pink Lady, and Vanilla Latte - why the hell are these marketed to kids?!) and then to Olympia for Calamari and Gyros - YUM. Jen and I loooove to eat good food, and we had many a foodgasm that night. Afterwards at home we didn’t hear the drunks next door, and we slept straight through the night - Lilly Dog even went in the other room to sleep…

So Sunday morning we woke up and went to Courtsey Diner on Hampton, something we have been doing almost every weekend now for the last few months. I play Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Rolling Stones, Patsy Cline, Melre Haggard, the Doors, and more on the jukebox. She gets biscuts and gravey and hash browns and I get - what else? A Slinger! YUM, a Diner-Foodgasm…

After eating we got all domestic and went shopping at Target… and it was creepy, being that it was about 9:00 on Sunday morning and our voices echoed through the empty store. Then it was back home to lay out in the sun drinking wine, eating peanuts, and listening to Mike Shannon get progessively more drunk as the Cardinals beat the Mets.

Later that afternoon we walked to Vincent’s to get some stuff for a bar-b-que at K & B’s. There was a free Rickashaw across the street when we came out, so we took it about five blocks to their house. After snapping a few photos we all sat out on the backyard patio and ate, drank, and was merry.

The next few weeks are going to get more and more busy, but that is the nature of Spring/Summertime. Thanks for a great weekend, St. Louis!

Lousy Neighbors, Soulard Style

5/13/05

My neighbors are at it again. Last night one of the two old alcoholics who live next door started cussing at me and saying my dog attacked his cat THROUGH A CHAIN LINK FENCE COVERED WITH BAMBOO.

They are pissed because I have complained to the landlady about their 3:30 AM arguements that I hear through the wall - "You're a F#$king retard, get a job, I don't care about these F#$kin neighbors" - and so on. My girlfriend is blind, so when she is spending the night the hoosierfest next door has a tendency to wake her up terrifed. I have been trying to be as civil as possible to these to as I am currently applying for the STLPD and do not want to jepordize a carrer over two old drunks.

So anyway, last night he is all yelling at me being equally parts annoying, nasty, and pitiful, when he makes the comment that "you, me, and the landlady are gonna have a sitdown." To this I replied - "Oh yeah? Who's side do you think she'll take, the guy who pays his rent on time each month and works full time or the old alcoholic who doesn't earn a dime?" "What?" (I was sure I was talking to that guy...) "You heard me." Next thing you know he's being all friendly again wanting to shake my hand. Hoosiers.

Soulard is an awesome neighborhood - A great place to ride my bike, walk my dog, talk to people, pick up a bottle of wine at Vincents, getting veggies and the Farmer's Market, etc. I have a pregnant best friend and her husband a few blocks away, and my other neighbors are great people who are helpful and friendly. I even got a friend of mine who is a wardrobe mistress at the Black Rep to move in above me. I have spent hours putting in brick flowerbeds, gardening, fixing old poles and decorating them, and in general keeping the place looking great.
And then superhoosiers move in next door. Before that they lived one door over with one of their mother's - they are in their 50's and old ma is about 300 years old. She lets out her crippled wiener dog and then says "Come on" nonstop in the EXACT same tone for about five minutes to call it back in. It would be funny if the whole situation didn't piss me off so much.
I know there are a lot of bad neighbor stories out there that would put this one to shame, but it's mine, and I can tell that it is far from over....